Tag: purpose

The one thing I want to take into the next decade.

It is the morning of December 31st, 2019 and I have literally lost my voice. While I drown myself in tea and honey, praying I get my voice back before midnight so I can yell “HAPPY NEW YEAR!!” and welcome in the new decade. I am taking some time to reflect, much like we do at the end of the year, and while I may not be able to speak audibly, my voice isn’t lost in words.

I always thank God for words, each one interwoven into meaning, and in each language their own rich history and tone.

2019 was a big year for me. Not because I fell in love, or went on wonderful vacations. I didn’t have either of those, but what I did have was breakthrough.

Looking back to the beginning of the year, it seems so distant now. Memories of getting caught in a snow storm, leaving my job, going back to school full time, getting scholarships, declaring a double major and adding a minor, having a restful summer of sister and family fun, attending so many diverse weddings, getting to interpret for one of them, cooking more and getting better at it, making new friends and reconnecting with old ones, saying goodbye to good friends, participating in an internship in D.C. and starting this blog space, finally.

2019 was a year of many firsts, many challenges, but also many victories and testimonies of God’s love. While there were many moments of fear, weeping, fasting and prayer. There were also many moments of peace, of dreams fulfilled, of laughs, joy, dancing, great meals and friendship.

It took me a while to write this post because I didn’t know how to approach it, do I just focus on the highlight reel? Do I open up on my struggles with anxiety and fear? How do I glorify Jesus in this? After losing my voice, I had some time to really sit and reflect, and the truth is, all of it glorifies Jesus.

You see, this year was a year of breakthrough for me, because it was the year that God prepared to bless me with opportunities I had dreamt of for years, and it was the year that my fears came close. It was the year that I said goodbye to many new friends and questioned where my place was. It was the year that I did a bible study on prayer that changed the way I pray. It was the year that I let down my guard, my pride, and truly rest in him. I took a Sabbath Summer and In those shorts months, God truly transformed me, so much so that even friends noticed how at peace I was and how I got the “spark” back into my eyes.

I finally gave in, let God do the work, and trusted that all things through him are good. I stopped trying to achieve my goals alone, and let him know of my fears. Some of whom have plagued me for over a decade.

You see, I could have made this post about how much God has transformed my life in the last ten years, from my high school days full of doubt and with little hope, to today, living out dreams that had been buried in the doubt, and new dreams that God has given to me. But, that would leave out all of the growth that this decade, and this year have brought me.

Growth hurts, it takes courage to sit in those feelings, cry out to God, and believe that his words are truth. That he will never forsake me or abandon me. That ALL things work for the good of those who love him. You see, one post wouldn’t be enough to cover all of those experiences but one thread sews them all together. IDENTITY.

The one lesson I’ve learned in this last decade, and really throughout this last year of highs and lows has been this.

I AM A DAUGHTER OF THE KING OF THE UNIVERSE. HE SHAPED ME IN MY MOTHER’S WOMB. HE KNOWS ME, DEEPLY AND INTRICATELY. HE HAS SAVED ME OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. HE GIVES ME DREAMS BIGGER THAN MOST CAN COMPREHEND. HE GIVES ME SENSIBILITY OF SPIRIT. HE GIVES ME WORDS. HE GIVES ME COURAGE. HE GIVES ME GRACE. HE GIVES ME WISDOM. HE GIVES ME FAMILY. HE GIVES ME LOVE. HE GIVES ME LIFE. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ME OR ABANDON ME. HE HAS BROUGHT ME HERE.

IDENTITY. that’s what I’m carrying with me into the next decade. Boldness and conviction. “I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 1:6

Identity, one word. So much power over one’s life.

Identity shook me this year, and brought me here. To this place of rest in the Lord.

You see once I realized, and made that my mindset, in my mind and in my spirit, I knew and know that no weapon formed against me could prosper, and I actually believed that I was wonderfully made. That conviction made direct changes in my life.

A kind of interesting, and funny one (for me), is my weight. For years I struggled with my weight and my body image. Raging from overweight over eater, to cross fit health junkie. But I hadn’t made peace with food. This year, after many years of working on my eating habits, and after taking a good hard look at myself, I realized, hey I’m healthy and happy. I went to the doctor for my annual physical, which I had been procrastinating on for the past few years, and was given a clean bill of health, and not told to lose weight. I was healthy and happy! But, I hadn’t been obsessively counting calories and beating myself up for not working out certain times a week. I learned to enjoy food again, learned to prepare healthy and tasty dishes, worked on my cooking skills, and exercised for my mental health. And guess, what, I get complimented all the time, sometimes I just laugh it off, because it has been easy, it’s my lifestyle now, and I enjoy it!

Identity played a key role in that, because, without really being convicted that I was dishonoring God in disapproving his creation in me, I would still be in that place of brokenness and unworthiness. Now, I really see the freedom in identity. Because I choose to love and take care of my body without resentment and fear, I am honoring God.

“19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.“1 Corinthians 6:19-20

This year has truly been one of learning, breaking and growing. I was stretched, I was uprooted, I was reminded of who I am and who’s I am and I was faced with fear.

Yet, I learned that I have nothing to fear because my Identity comes from the creator of the Universe, and he too dwells inside of me.

I was reminded that “the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.” 1 corinthians 6:17

I was reminded that “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”Jeremiah 1:5

I was reminded that I am a daughter of God.” But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12

And because I know my identity in him, then I do not have to worry .

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Mathew 6:25-34

So, I’ve written all of this to say, if you find yourself at the edge of despair in the end of this decade, looking back and not having achieved what you wished to have achieved. Or if you are brimming with gratefulness at the end of this decade, looking forward to all the blessings coming towards you in the new year. Remember this. Your heavenly Father knows what you need, and when you need them. He will never forsake or abandon you. He has made you just as you are. He delights in you. He wants you to rest in him to fly into the peace of the spirit, and he is right here, inside of you.

No matter where you have been in the last year, or the last decade, he is only a prayer away. He is not a distant God, but an everlasting loving father who loves to shower us in abundance. He sees you, he loves you, he waits for you.

Find your identity in the father, trust me, it’s worth it.

My identity gives me my voice. I’m ready for you 2020.

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Jesus and Human Rights.

I recently went to an amazing and eye opening experience as a human rights researcher with my university. While intellectually challenging and emotionally charged, this trip was definitely a life changing experience. Yet, the most unexpected and perhaps most important part was how spiritually, my point of view got a little tested and a lot more clearer. While I’ve only been studying human rights for a short period of time, I’ve had a lot of realizations.

Why Jesus?

Jesus came for the forgotten, the marginalized, the sick, isolated, the belittled, the disabled, and the persecutors. He came to bring freedom, life, peace and dignity. When women were second class citizens, he looked them in the eye and said you are worthy. He healed the sick and disabled and brought them freedom. Freedom from sickness, shame and guilt. He dined with the outcasts and the marginalized and brought love and redemption to a dark and isolated life. He changed the heart of the persecutor, to a missionary. He brought DIGNITY to all. He didn’t look at race, class, gender or belief. He saw the humanity in all of these people, and he saw the reflection of God. The bible says that humanity was made in the image of God, therefore to by bringing salvation to us, Jesus brought dignity too.

Dignity and Identity.

27 “And God made man in His own likeness. In the likeness of God He made him. He made both male and female.” Genesis 1:27 NLV

Dignity, this word repeated over and over in my head as we moved from the Holocaust museum, through the hill and the African American museum. Dignity, that’s all we are asking for. For the children fleeing violence, for the families separated by war, for the thirsty, the hungry and the marginalized. What we all want is dignity.

The Gospel.

“For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me. ” Matthew 25:35 ESV

Jesus was counterculture with his message of radical grace. He saw people for what they were made to be, bearers of the image of God and carriers of the Holy Spirit. He didn’t look at circumstance, or our broken identities. He saw vessels waiting to be filled with his love. When we are saved by God’s grace and accept Jesus as our Lord and saviour, it doesn’t mean our circumstances change instantaneously. It means our heart, mind and soul are transformed. We are reminded who our maker is, and where our identity comes from. The way we think of the marginalized, the forgotten, the isolated and the sick changes as our heart goes through a holy defrost, that’s I like to call it. We love our neighbors, and seek to bring the Glory of God to the Earth no matter where our feet happen to be. In third world countries, or in the most powerful place on the planet. We love because he first loved us.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.” Proverbs 31:25

Strength and dignity become our clothing, our armor in times of fear and strife. Our identity no longer in what was and what will become. Our identity firm in the Gospel of love, grace and redemption. Now, how amazing would the world be if we all lived with strength, dignity and love of Christ in our hearts and minds? What if we truly believed in the Gospel, and traded shame, into freedom. What if we looked at the homeless and saw the image of God? What if those who don’t speak our language and look differently than us were seen as children of God, instead of as the “other”? What if we actually loved our neighbor, and that means getting to know the messy and finding the beauty in it too.

Human rights were created as a response to the Holocaust and genocide, as a tool to prevent these inhumane acts to prevail once more. While there have been worst times to be alive, if you look around there’s still a lot of loving to do. For those fleeing persecution, war and famine are children of God too. Stripping people from their humanity is the same as stripping away their dignity. My biggest take away from my week in DC was the need for people who are spirit filled to change the dialogue. Yes, there have been horrible things done in the name of religion or christianity, but those are the same kind of people who Jesus condemned on his time here on Earth. The need is great, but the workers are few. To truly love and walk in dignity and freedom is not an easy task, but if we want a world where there is less famine, war and genocide. If we want true freedom from bondage, oppression and addiction. We need more Jesus. We need grace, love and healing. We need to look at humanity with the eyes of Jesus. To see the amazing transformation that can happen when we recognize where our true identity comes from. To see water turned into wine, the lame to walk and the blind see again.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.“Psalm 139:13

All of us are creations of God, knitted in our mother’s womb and the image of God himself. Wow, what an amazing thing it is to be human! What if we looked at humanity in the same way God looks at us? With love. Let’s love our neighbors, speak in truth, love and grace. Let’s not diminish the value of human life because of what society deems as valuable. The elderly, the child, the disabled, the immigrant and the marginalized. They matter. We are called to bring compassion and care for those who suffer. Let us not forget this mighty charge of love, grace and dignity. For you once deserved it and still do, too.